The Kidney Bean: Not ready for prime time

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Not ready for prime time

This is a recurring theme: I am so not ready for motherhood. Case in point...

Last night while having dinner with friends, I decided to help out with the ten month old, who was sucking on an empty sippy cup. (Heart of gold. Get the baby more juice. Where's the line for the halos?) As I took the cup, a never-ending line of drool formed from the kid's lip to the sippy cup. The farther away I pulled the cup, the longer became the line of drool.

Ewwwww.

What kind of mother gets grossed out by drool?? It's not even snot, for crying out loud, which is really gross. How am I supposed to wipe snotty noses with my bare hands (a prerequisite for motherhood, is it not?) if I can't even stand the sight of drool?

5 Comments:

At 8:39 PM, Anonymous said...: And you realize that you will be changing a LOT of poopy diapers, right? And will be peed on at least once in the first two weeks...
At 9:56 PM, Sherri Sanders said...: Wait until the first time you have to clean up throw up. The whole drool things becomes a piece of cake. LOL
At 11:36 PM, Jessica said...: The weird part is that it's not as if I haven't dealt with babies before. I took care of my sister when she was just a baby, so I've handled all kinds of nasty stuff. Of course, other than spit up, I'm not sure I ever cleaned up her puke...
At 7:01 PM, Anonymous said...: Don't worry it is different when it is your kid. and once you have your baby you will be amazed at how things that totally grossed you out before, you don't even bat an eye at.

Danielle
At 7:03 PM, Jessica said...: Danielle, I've heard before that "it's different when it's your kid." I really hope it's true.

Two weeks: conception occurred (during the 40 weeks of her pregnancy, a mommy is actually pregnant for only 38 weeks)
Three weeks: our kidney bean (K.B.) was a little ball of cells called a blastocyst
Four weeks: K.B. became an embryo and started making me feel queasy
Five weeks: K.B.'s heart started beating
Six weeks: K.B. started moving
Seven weeks: K.B. started to develop teeth
Eight weeks: K.B. grew to the size of a kidney bean :)
Nine weeks: K.B.'s tail disappeared
Ten weeks: K.B. became a fetus
Eleven weeks: K.B.'s webbed hands and feet separated to form fingers and toes
Twelve weeks: K.B.'s little kidneys started working
Thirteen weeks: K.B.'s unique fingerprints were in place
Fourteen weeks: K.B. and Mommy started the second trimester!
Fifteen weeks: K.B. was able to sense light through his/her fused eyelids and could move away if I shined a flashlight at my stomach
Sixteen weeks: K.B. was about 4 1/2 inches head to bottom and pumped 25 quarts of blood each day
Seventeen weeks: K.B.'s hearing began to develop
Eighteen weeks: K.B. was roughly 5 1/2 inches head to bottom and weighed seven ounces
Nineteen weeks: K.B. sprouted hair on his/her scalp
Twenty weeks: K.B. was 6 1/2 inches from head to bottom and ten inches from head to heel
Twenty-one weeks: K.B.'s eyelids and eyebrows were fully developed
Twenty-two weeks: K.B. developed teeth buds
Twenty-three weeks: K.B. was eleven inches long and weighed more than a pound
Twenty-four weeks: K.B.'s taste buds were developing
Twenty-five weeks: K.B. was about thirteen-and-a-half inches and weighed a pound and a half
Twenty-six weeks: K.B. could hear better all the time as the nerve pathways in its ears continued to develop
Twenty-seven weeks: K.B.'s brain tissues developed further
Twenty-eight weeks: K.B. had eyelashes
Twenty-nine weeks: K.B. weighed 2 1/2 pounds and was 15 inches long
Thirty weeks: K.B. weighed almost three pounds and had 20/400 vision
Thirty-one weeks: K.B. weighed over three pounds and was 16 inches long
Thirty-two weeks: K.B. grew to nearly four pounds and was almost 17 inches long
Thirty-three weeks: K.B.'s bones began to harden
Thirty-four weeks: K.B.'s central nervous system was still maturing, but its lungs were fairly well developed
Thirty-five weeks: K.B.'s kidneys were fully developed and its liver could process some waste products
Thirty-six weeks: K.B. is gaining about an ounce a day now