Another big weekend

I took Kidney Bean snowmobiling this weekend. The adventure began with something as mundane as my snowmobile suit. Who knew it would take a team effort to get me in it? After ten minutes of trying by myself to zip up my bibs, I finally asked Bob to zip me up, which he accomplished after some effort. And naturally, the moment I got into them, I had to pee, so off they came. After Bob helped me into them again, I discovered that they were so tight I couldn't sit down on the sled, so I had to unzip them partially just to sit. Next, I needed help to zip up my coat. It barely fits without any layers under it.

I'm not sure what Kidney Bean thought of the ride. It was a little rough in one spot. I could actually feel the contents of my belly jiggling. After that, I told everyone we had to slow down. Of course, for how many millennia have pregnant women ridden horses, donkeys, camels -- or more recently, ridden by horse and buggy or train? It probably didn't bother Kidney Bean a bit, but the midwife had recommended I stick to groomed trails for a smoother ride, and groomed this trail wasn't. Afterwards, my legs were killing me, because I spent more time than usual squatting above the seat to absorb the shocks with my legs. My throttle hand had a terrible cramp, too, because by riding slower than usual, my hand and thumb were at an awkward angle. Still, I had fun, and maybe I'll get to go one more time before the end of the season -- and before I grow out of my suit completely.

Pregnancy Q & A

Pregnancy Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children are enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after s/he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: No, not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Twenty-week ultrasound (3D)

No print-quality versions yet. Check back soon.

Twenty-week ultrasound (profile)

No print-quality versions yet. Check back soon.

Oh, yeah. In other news....

...I'm wearing my first official pair of maternity pants today. Thanks, Tiffani, for picking them out for me at Kohls.com.

Big weekend

Friday afternoon was the big day. My keyboard tray was pushed up against my belly, and I felt the first little flutters of life! I was writing an email to my friend Brynn when it happened. I knew immediately what it was -- no doubt about it.

I felt a couple more little flutters that afternoon, along with a few little pokes. After feeling all those pokes, I knew for sure that I'd actually felt the first movement last Tuesday. I was in bed trying to sleep when I felt a little poke followed by another weaker one. I wasn't sure, though, because it didn't feel like fluttering at all, and that's what I was looking for. I mentioned it to a coworker the next day, who assured me that it couldn't have been the baby, so I dismissed it as a muscle twitch. I didn't feel anything else until Friday afternoon.

Since then, movement has remained sporadic. Kidney Bean was active during dinner Saturday night, providing several little kicks for my entertainment. Bob seems happy about it, although I think he just thinks I'm cute for being so excited.

In general, I don't seem to feel fluttering unless something is pushed up against my belly. I only feel the more definitive pokes.

Twenty-week visit

Kidney Bean is three-quarters of a pound. S/he's active and a bit stubborn, reluctant to pose for many photos. That didn't stop Linda, the ultrasound tech, from getting some good ones, though. I'll post them on Monday.

I gained another five pounds since my visit five weeks ago. :( The midwife, Julie, was perfectly unconcerned, but I've read plenty that says I should only be gaining a half pound per week. She encouraged me to take a bit of exercise and eat better. My blood pressure is great, and the screening from the last visit tested negative for Down Syndrome.

Another dream

Lots of dreams these days. In the latest, the baby got stuck in the birth canal, so doctors had to perform a C-section. The nice thing about dreams is that they don't actually hurt.

Speaking of hurting, I've been having pains that I think are due to my ligaments stretching. I felt a really good jab this morning when I crawled out of bed. After crying out in pain, I was dismayed to realize that what I'd just felt was probably comparable to the tiniest, weakest little nothing of a contraction.

Speaking of dreams

Near the beginning of my pregnancy, I dreamt that I was returning to work after maternity leave. I completely forgot about my infant twin (twin??) boys and made no arrangements for them whatsoever. Five hours later I remembered them, and when I returned home, they'd already cried so hard for so long they couldn't cry anymore.

And no, I'm not having twins.

Sigh

There's a giant case of fundraiser candy bars in the kitchen. Fortunately for me, I can't tolerate chocolate or other sweets. Unfortunately for me, I still want to eat mountains of the stuff. The only thing keeping me from doing so is the knowledge that I'll feel terrible afterwards. Maybe I'll have a stick of gum.

Dream kicks

I had a dream last night that I felt the baby's first kicks. Nothing in real life, though. I haven't even felt anything that I thought might have possibly been a kick.

A couple of nights ago I dreamt that I forgot I was pregnant and drank half a beer. I never even drank beer before I was pregnant. Hate the stuff -- although flavored beers (i.e., "premium malt beverages," such as Smirnoff Twisted Raspberry) are good.